A Road Full Of Elves

Apparently last year I started a new annual tradition without knowing it. That was when I went to Galveston for Christmas and stayed at the San Luis Hotel. I was fascinated and, let’s be honest, a little frightened by all of the bizarre elves that lined their entrance. Big elves. Scary elves. I swore their eyes followed me whenever I walked past. I have continued with the holiday tradition of “elf hunting” in 2019.

This year I went to the Houstonian. A lovely hotel. Best customer service ever! While at the Houstonian I spent much time at the Trellis Spa. Wonderful massages, facials, whirl pool, tranquility room, etc. I had a most relaxing time.

However, once again, I was faced with elves. Not exactly the elfin gauntlet that I faced in Galveston, but they were still there. Watching me. Watching all the guests that walked into and around the hotel lobby. Some of them were in Christmas trees, others were slinking along on the floor next to a sleigh. Just trust me, they were everywhere.

This guy greeted me as soon as I walked into the front door. I thought he was Santa getting ready to deliver toys or whatever it is he does this time of year. Yet, this critter had pointed ears. Santa never had pointed ears.….did he? Why is the reindeer riding in the sleigh next to those dolls that eerily look like children with bad hair styles?

Don’t you think at night these little elfin creatures spring up and run around the hotel playing tricks on the guests? I could’ve sworn one night, really late at night, I heard giggling and the sound of little elfin feet running down the hall. Maybe it was children? Maybe it was some adults who had partied into the night? I made sure the dead bolt was on and pulled the covers up over my head just in case.

Elves are supposedly small creatures with pointed ears that are typically mischievous and have magical powers with capricious natures. What do you think these guys look like they’re up to? Can they ever really be trusted?

According to elfin lore, the wee elves aren’t supposed to age. Yet, I saw examples of elves who were both young and old. It is possible that we mere humans have yet to scratch the surface of what makes this species tick.

Now, for those of you who know me well, you know I spent many years going to Austin over Christmas and staying at my favorite Austin spa. I loved it there. I never saw any elves in Austin. Apparently elves are a Gulf Coast phenomenon. Anyway, a couple of years ago a giant hotel conglomeration bought my favorite Austin spa, added rooms, additional pools, and raised the prices. Now I am a Winter Holiday Nomad. Next year I will continue my search of the elfin world in Southeast Texas.

Until next week.….

Through The Wormhole

I wasn’t going to write anything else about the holidays. I had done that topic. However, I had such a surreal experience, I just have to share.

This RoadBroad hit the road again. It has always been my tradition to go out of town over Christmas to avoid all of the holiday doings. I go somewhere where I can escape, relax, read, write, and contemplate.

This year I decided to go to Galveston. At least I think I went to Galveston. However, while driving down the freeway I must have turned left into a wormhole somewhere and landed in a parallel universe that pretended to be Earth, but couldn’t have been. Instead of avoiding all the trappings of Christmas, I fell into what looked like a hotel that had been taken over by alien elves and other assorted holly jolly critters. It was an assault on every one of my senses. Christmas music filled every inch of the hotel lobby and outside by the pool and the usually quiet observation deck.

This was the entry way. It looked incredibly festive and harmless at first glance. Lots and lots of trees. But look closer. Look again. To enter the hotel, I had to walk through a literal “Elfin Gauntlet”. Not only were there many elves, but they were all either hanging from the trees or flying through the air. They looked at me as I passed. I tried not to make eye contact. I did not actually see any of them move, but just as I walked past, I thought I saw movement. Quick shadowy movements. They all looked so happy, but in an impish mischievous kind of way.

What they do with you if they should catch you? Fortunately I did not find that out. I can move fast for an old broad.

Once outside the hotel, I found other alien beings pretending to be humans. But, I had my doubts and suspicions. It was 60 degrees outside and these creatures were walking around in bathing suits and bikinis. They floated in steamy water. Were they relaxing or were they being cooked for some future holiday feast?

Escaping the hotel, I ran to the beach. Here I apparently found the winged Overlords who are in charge of this strange planet. They impose strict rules regarding who can access the natural resources. There they stand guard. I did not try to cross into forbidden territory.

Luckily for me, I was able to escape the parallel universe and returned to Houston located on Planet Earth. As always, I thank the nice earthlings who assisted me with house and cat sitting.

Next year I will be more careful in selecting my destination for peace and tranquility. I will be more careful about turning left into wormholes.

After such an adventure, this RoadBroad is home for a while. I hope the alien elves didn’t follow me home!

Until next week!